Fishpear designed. Do not steal and tag before you go.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Feeling sad. At the start i don't even know why he got angry. I'm beginning to think it's a vicious cycle. quarrels. making up. peace. quarrel...... I'm feeling so mad i called his phone a thousand times and he did not want to pick up and tell me why he was angry. he picked up once and said 'stop calling me'. Than he put down the phone again. I don't know how many times i heard the phone ring, and than disconnect. I even start to loathe the ringing and the disconnected tone that follows.
And this is just when i thought, i do love him. A lot. More than i can comprehend. This feeling is so scary. I told myself, i'll never love another person whole-heartly again. Cause it's just too painful falling back. And you'll be the one getting hurt. putting in so much feelings. i don't want it to happen again.
I can't believe i can get really excited/super duper happy for don't know what reason and freaking sad and mad all in the same night. It makes me feel as though i wasn't human with so many different emoticons just bursting out of me.
I don't like eric. He's just a frienddddd. A friend i seem to be talking to alot lately. But nothing more than that. maybe a close and familiar friend. tops.
I hate it we all know it except V.(i mean me and eric) He keeps saying that he just feels uneasy that suddenly he seems to be close to me and all. yada yada. I think that he'll be happier when i have no guy friends and all. I sound mean. But seriously, i thought insecurity was meant to be for females and all. sometimes i really feel like i'm the guy and all. sucks.
so yeah, whatever. i'm tired but i can't get to sleep thanks to the whole fiasco. i don't even know what to feel after it. and shilesse, ida and eric are coming over in hours time. great. i wonder if i can wake up even. feel like just sleeping everything away.
